Thank you to whomever made the nomination (I swear it wasn't me). I am honored and thrilled and promise to try to keep representing as best I can and to learn to like the word lesbian, to not suggest that it sounds like something that happens to your skin in the winter.
I need a better moisturizer I have a bright red lesbian on my elbow.
Did you see that man? He's covered in lesbians.
It was so gross, during class she was peeling her lesbian.
Thank you all my dear sweet readers again and again. There must be a way to vote. I will keep everyone posted.
Here's what I did today: spent ten hours that I absolutely did not have gathering the creme de la creme of Betsy's old baby and toddler clothing, placing it in bags, making a list for each bag of every item in the bag, and taking all seven bags to a local children's clothing resale store where I was paid $45 for the lot. That works out to be $4.50 an hour for my time never mind that I should have given it all away. I blame it on Hannah Montana and the resultant loss of brains cells that listening to her CD has caused.
But back to lesbians. Are lesbian mothers more embarrassing than straight mothers? I'm guessing in winter they are (the puffy puff mama down coat/vest snapped up to the neck, the LL Bean duck boots, the Peruvian knit hat with earflaps, need I go on).
I tried not to embarrass Phoebe my girlfriend's daughter during racquetball yesterday. I play so terribly I thought if I sang a Bette Midler tune loudly it would make it look like I wasn't really trying and therefore not as bad a player as I really am. Well that didn't work. Turns out twelve and a half year olds don't appreciate Bette Midler covers during racquetball. Nor are they fond of 46 year olds rapping in public.
Straight mothers at least apply make-up. If someone is going to embarrass the pants off of you better they've put their face on. And I hear lipstick helps keep your lips from getting lesbians.